My Spirit Animal

I had an epiphany a few months ago. It involved an open sleigh ride in the mountains and big horses and champagne.

Ace you are not a lap dog & Molly is not a pillow.

What was this epiphany you may ask? It was — the idea of spirit animals is powerful. Not in some odd, new-agey way either. But, in the way that animals legitimately accept their physical traits and abilities for what they are without any drama.  (Well, maybe all animals except my 50 lb boxer, Ace, who insists he's a lap dog and gets all sensitive when I disabuse him of that notion.) 

For a lot of years, I have struggled with wanting to be naturally (whatever that means) different than what I am. Oh, the years I've wasted wishing I had different physical attributes - smaller frame, different hair, finer facial features, faster, leaner, different shaped body parts. The list goes on and on and on and on. 

For a lot of years, I've struggled with the notion that my personality should be different, too. I should be more lady-like. I should be more dainty. I should be quieter, less aggressive, less, more, less, more. AHHHHH.

As I've gotten older, I've become more settled in who and what I am naturally:) But, I still have my days when I get these wild hairs that I'm going to change everything about myself — head to toe and inside-out.

Gazelles are beautiful, lithe, and graceful.

Then I had my epiphany. One of those moments where it feels like everything comes into focus and time slows way down, and I realized something profound. (As I mentioned before, it also involved a glass of champagne, but I digress.) I was watching these huge, Clydesdale-like horses pulling this massive sleigh and people UP a mountain in the snow and cold, and it hit me like a ton of horse you-know-what — I'm a Clydesdale.

I'm big and strong and sturdy. I can carry heavy burdens on my shoulders. I can toil for a long time and keep going. More than that that's what I'm BUILT to do. That's what I like to do. And, that's pretty awesome.  

These horses were amazing. They were snorting and neighing while they carried the hundreds of pounds of sleigh and people. They had bells and ribbons braided into their manes. They were wearing fancy saddles. They kept doing that thing horses do with their heads that make them look wild and fierce. It brought me to tears. These horses never once woke up and thought — You know I really should try this diet or this self-help program or this exercise program to make me look and act more like a gazelle.

They never wasted one second wishing for something that is IMPOSSIBLE for them. They spent their time reveling in what is POSSIBLE for them.

So, I'm going to try be more like these horses. I'm going to put the fricking jingle bells in my hair, wear the fancy saddles, and pull that heavy sleigh with people in it over and over up the mountain in the freezing cold and snow like the brawny, industrious creature that I was built to be. I'm gonna be me.

No more wishing to be a gazelle.  I want to spend the next decades of my life reveling in what is possible BECAUSE of what and who I am.

#lovetheclydsdalewithin
#gazellesaregreatoo
#whatsyourspiritanimal