Bravery Is Hard

A year ago today, I had to be brave.

I wish I could say I was fiercely, unwaveringly brave. I wasn’t. It was born of necessity, self-preservation - more stilted and forced than I imagined courageous people to be. Maybe I wish I was fiercely brave because that’s what you see in the movies. A hero or heroine jumps to save a bus full of kids hanging off of a cliff without a moment’s pause. But, that’s not what happened for me.

Bravery is HARD. It means putting yourself in a situation that is so far out of your comfort zone you can’t even imagine how you are going to survive it. It means taking action when a positive outcome is far from assured. It means living your values out loud rather than remaining trapped inside yourself, a situation, or other’s opinions of you.

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - John A. Shedd

But, like so many things being courageous is a skill that can be strengthened. Just as soldiers, police officers, firefighters, nurses, doctors, and pilots learn how to be brave in the line of duty, the rest of us can train to have strength in other types of life situations that feel daunting - sharing a secret you’ve kept inside for years, asking for help because of a mental illness or a substance abuse problem, going for “it” at work, telling someone you love them, public speaking, speaking up when you hear someone say something racist or sexist, facing a health crisis, going to a new country and having an adventure, deciding to have children, there are many situations that call for courageous embrace.

If you are faced with a situation that calls for you to act decisively or boldly, just know that if it feels hard, it is. If it feels impossible or terrifying, those feelings are normal, too. And, are for most people.

Once you’ve made that choice and taken that first action, it gets somewhat more familiar and with practice it can become a habit. Which is good, because there is always an area of our lives where we need to be daring to make the changes necessary for growth.

And, even though popular culture portrays the loner hero/heroine as our model, that’s not reality either. When I was so scared, I didn’t think I could make it another minute, I was lucky enough to basically borrow my courage from a group of family, friends, and neighbors to whom I’m forever grateful. And, if you don’t have that in your life there are many, many organizations that offer support - churches, non-profits, mental health counselors, community clubs & more… If you need help to find and keep the courage of your convictions, it is there. This world is full of more good people than bad. More love than hate.

Bravery may be hard but it is most definitely worth it.