I Got Jokes - Sometimes, My Children Frighten Me...

I'm thinking of doing some mom focused stand-up.

Here's my first joke - Having kids is so crazy because when you open the door to their rooms you literally never know what you're going to see. But, it is usually something along the lines of the craziest drug and alcohol-fueled party you’ve ever imagined in a Vegas hotel room or a crime scene.

The other day I walked into my little one’s bedroom. It was like walking into a nightmare. Dolls in various states of undress. Freshly cut Barbie hair all over the floor with the kitchen shears looking askance in the corner. All the crayons dumped out of a bag with a pair of underwear layered in the middle of the crayons. Not on top. Not on bottom. But in the middle - which means that someone thought about doing that intentionally. A bottle of Febreze under the bed. A half-eaten banana on top of the bed. Her closet wide open with everything pulled out. And, my personal favorite, a handwritten sign that said - Trey’s room. Her name is not Trey, in case you were wondering.

And, while I should have used it as a “teachable” moment. I pretty much just wanted to cry and call CSI Arvada to figure out what sort of tomfoolery transpired in there.